it's just the same. we really know things between us never will change. but i thought that untill now.

you know me. i dont. i actually tried to say those words as many times as i could, but there were certain things in my head saying "dont do it." but why was my heart saying "please, you know its true." & so everytime i tried, i failed. the words ended up a lump in my throat. striving to get out.

you know me. i dont. its not like we wouldnt see each other in the hallways & smile at one another, with a smile. fake or real? its sorta hard to tell sometimes. i really wonder if we wear masks or you really make me happy.

you know me. i dont. you came to pick me up the other day at my house after we talked on the phone & i explained my lack of interest of being with my family. we went to the movies; you held my hand. we went to the cafe; you bought me whatever i wanted. we went to the stores [you hate shopping]; but you put your arm around my waist as we walked & window shopped. we went to your Awaken practice; you let me stay. we went to your house; & thats when it started.

you know me. i dont. you know what makes me truly happy. you know i am not like the other people who are "wannabes artsy-writing-musical-popular-depressed-fancy" people. you & i spent the whole night at your place...talking, laughing, joking, & everything in between. you kissed me again. may i admit it? it was bliss. like the sea breeze on your face in summer & cool smell of star magnolias in spring....and we kissed & more. And it happened.

& right then i knew i did love you and everything we did was right. it was more than happiness & bliss.

it was raining outside all day.